Keep Some Pieces of Yourself at Home

Bringing your whole self to work is a common phrase for diversity practitioners, but I have to say, it’s just not true. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what the phrase means in theory, but in practice, sometimes it’s better for folks to leave some pieces of themselves at home.

Bringing your whole self to work is a common phrase for diversity practitioners, but I have to say, it’s just not true. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what the phrase means in theory, but in practice, sometimes it’s better for folks to leave some pieces of themselves at home.

For example, I have a close friend who is the executive assistant for a C-level executive in a huge, brand recognizable, global company. She is grouped on a floor with other C-level executives and their support staff. Earlier this week, a woman from a different part of the company came up to my friend’s desk and made several off color remarks in front of another woman.

After this person dropped her poison pills, she left. My friend’s peer turned and said, “I didn’t like that at all.”

These are executive assistants for the top leaders in the company. One word in the right ear and poof to this objectionable person’s career — especially since she’s already been warned multiple times to choose her words more carefully when speaking to others.

It’s great to want to be authentic at work. There’s value in that. But no one can come into a corporate environment and just let it all hang out, not if they expect to survive and advance. There are some unwritten rules around conduct and language in the workplace, and it all boils down to professionalism.

I too have fallen afoul of some unprofessional moments where slang crept into my speech or where my behavior made others uncomfortable. I learned or self-corrected by watching others’ body language, or when supervisors were nice enough to say, “Hey, Kellye, tone that down.” When I was younger, I railed at that kind of correction, and I confess I don’t like being told I’m doing something wrong any better now — who does? — but now that I understand the game a bit better, I appreciate being given an opportunity to improve. I don’t always like or agree with criticism, but I no longer see correction as a horribly unfair slight or as an assault on my character.

You can’t bring your whole self to work for one important reason: We all have bad days — more often than not thanks to the economy and some of the more unsavory growing pains the world is going through — and personal issues simply cannot be allowed to stand in the way of work.